Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Types of Women Drivers!

I’m sexist against my own sex

Well, to be more specific, I am very sexist when it comes to women drivers. Yes, I too used to find the generalized stereotypes like “el neswan mabey3rafoosh yesoo2o” very annoying (and the exclamation of: “ah, ma tab3an… wa7da bent!” whenever someone cuts in front of you or does something vaguely stupid). 

But then the truth was just too much for my feminine loyalties to overcome. Yes, men can be extremely reckless and dangerous drivers, but truth be told, almost every time I was nearly killed on our chaotic streets was at the hands of some oblivious female. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no better than the rest (I totaled my car not once but TWICE), but it goes so much further than just me. 

Here are the types of women drivers you should look out for:
  1. Soccer moms. They’re usually found driving Matrixes, but sometimes they’re disguised in other cars. You can still spot them by the way they sit extremely close to the steering wheel with extremely straight chair backs. They will have at least one child in the car, usually sitting in the backseat. They look extremely nervous and stressed out at all times (probably because they just learned how to drive recently in order to shuffle their kids back and forth between home and the nadi). The problem with them is that they do the STUPIDEST things while driving, but then men kotr they got scared by the near-accident, they’ll start screaming at YOU like a banshee. E7na asfeen ya tante. 
  2. The college princesses. They’re the ones who are driving the fancy car their fathers bought for them, but unfortunately driving lessons didn’t come along with the car. They don’t look before reversing the car, they don’t know how to park, they can’t judge the dimensions of their car, and if anything happens they’ll start crying hysterically 3ashan Pappy hayza32. 
  3. The technological mohagabas. They’re the ones who stick their phone between their face and their hegab and chat away happily (completely ignoring the seven cars they just cut off). When they’ve finished their phone call, they can be seen blasting their favorite songs and singing their hearts out (which easily drowns out the cacophony of car horns blasting from all directions). 
  4. The hopeless cases. There are some women who don’t fall into any of the above categories, but are honestly just hazards to themselves and others (eg., most of my friends). They start daydreaming, they ride other cars’ asses, they think they’re ‘good drivers’ (and always yell when I admit I think most women are bad drivers), they crash into random things, they accidentally drive onto sidewalks, they smack pedestrians with their mirrors several times daily, they run out of gas, they block roads… they’re just menaces to society!
So yes, although men can be douchebags behind the wheel (racing, speeding, ghoraz, harassing girls), one must chalk up that to plain male stupidity and not actual lack of skill. While women, bless their hearts, don’t mean harm but undoubtedly will be the reason why you’re slamming your head against the wheel in frustration on a daily basis. 


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